Until fairly recently I didn’t realise what anxiety was, and I didn’t know what an anxiety/panic attack was. Anxiety is basically worrying about future events (pretty much like fear, but fear is for current events). Anxiety can be very powerful and when people start suffering Anxiety (or panic) attacks these can be very unpleasant experiences. However, people don’t need to suffer from these.
For me it was connected with work, and a very strict boss who wanted nothing short of perfection. I would feel a huge sense of doom, i’d sweat and have cold and hot flushes. If I made the slightest mistake or didn’t feel as though I could do a certain task then all of these would come on. Not always to the same degree, but to some sort of severity. At its hight, as soon as I started to do something at work these symptoms would come on and I’d basically be paralysed, and not do anything. I’m not sure if these were anxiety attacks, but still it was very debilitating.
I still get anxious now, but through mindset, and the help from the excellent Billy (https://www.facebook.com/billy.hopkins.10) I’ve learned to live more in the present (this is an ongoing task) and to realise what was happening to trigger it. I was a perfectionist, but nothing can be perfect so realising that I’d never achieve that was quite liberating. Also knowing that I’m allowed to make mistakes, and that if something does go wrong (as long as it doesn’t kill anyone) then it can be fixed….and its not the end of the world! Lastly, preparation is key for me, and I need to know what I’m doing. So ensuring I have the right instructions, and all the correct information before I start (or as much as I can) ensures I’ve set myself up doing the best job I can.
Another point to remember is that there is only now, only this very second that exists. What happened an hour, or a day ago has gone and can’t be changed – so all the worrying in the world isn’t going to help. What’s going to happen in the future is yet to be decided, so worrying about it now is going to achieve nothing – and it may never happen that way. Have a think back to something that you were feeling anxious about, were your fears realised, or did it turn out better than you expected? For me, things turn out better than expected, and wander why I got myself all worked up about it. Yes, there are things that can always be improved, but I know it can’t be perfect but as long as I give it my best shot by preparing and living in the now then I’m doing the best that I can do.
Each year, in my day job I have the task to amend all of the customer sell out rates, and supplier buy in rates. For various reasons the process for setting each customers price increase was taken out of my hands. I got the file, which I was told was correct, with hundreds of customers on it and passed this onto the Tech people to action before I check it. I’d done my checks and signed it all off, and finished for Christmas. The first day of my holidays and I’m in the Trafford Centre starting my Christmas shopping and my phone rings, its the lady I did the testing with. I answer the phone to find out the sales guys have advised some of the rates are incorrect. Now, in the past I would have gone into a blind panic and assume the fault was my doing – then worry about what would be said about me and for me having to grovel to get it put right. I started to feel anxious and going red, but then thought well I don’t know if it the file that was wrong, the tech guys fault to doing the calculation wrong etc etc. So before I start panicking and assuming the worst i needed to investigate what was wrong, then I can try and fix it. So, I cut short my shopping trip, went home and fired up my lap top. To cut a long story short the same account numbers were put into the 10% increase column as well as the 12% increase in error by the sales guys. The system took the higher of the two percentages and applied that. As I didn’t have enough time to check every customer this wasn’t spotted on the 20 (ish) customers that this happened too. I would normally have beaten myself up about this, but I knew I couldn’t have checked every customer as I didn’t have the time. So I spoke to the sales guys and advised what had happened, and why. After a couple of hours it was decided to not change anything and the customer would take the 12% increase. I could have panicked, blaming myself, assuming I was at fault – stood in the middle of a shopping centre sweating and going red in the face. Instead I assed the situation, didn’t jump to any conclusions. After assessing the extent of what had happened and calmly letting sales know (full disclosure) the situation was sorted out without issue. Much better outcome wouldn’t you say?
I hope someone find this useful, feel free to comment, like and share. If you want to find out more, have a look at the Mindset Coaching Academy https://www.facebook.com/groups/532116696982727/. 😃